🔹 Not Yours, Truly by Giselle Chan

Rating: 2 of 5 stars ⭐️⭐️ 

By: Kato Justus 

As an older, retired guy I was skeptical about reading Giselle Chan’s book Not yours, Truly which is a collection of ten short stories written from the perspectives of young women. Having now read the ten short stories my initial skepticism was well founded but not for the reasons expected. Don’t let being male keep you from experiencing the book. The book is appropriate for mature readers ready for mature themes of both sexes. 

The narration of each story told is done as a stream of consciousness. I had difficulty relating to the stories but I also struggled to understand the materials. I was left with more questions than answers because the literary elements or “things” of many of the stories are just left unnamed. That’s confusing, even frustrating to me as a reader. In fairness however, the mysterious nature of the writing may actually be part of the point. 

 All of the musings are written from the perspectives of young women. Every story is about unhealthy relationships between immature, inexperienced, mentally ill, sociopathic, even psychopathic people. Besides themes of mental illness, the idea that relationships between men and women are not equal but favor men as inherently more powerful, manipulative and controlling. Men are specifically portrayed as insensitive and dangerous or abusive while women quietly endure punishment in helplessness as if it were her duty or just her fatalistic lot in life. 

 I challenge the author to take one of the stories and further develop it to completion by filling out the natures of the characters depicted and by specifically naming the mysterious “things” or maladies at the center of the stories. Who are these people? Why do they think the way they do? When did it start? What do the look like? What are their social, familial, professional environments? How do they dress? What do the look like? Where do they live? 

The three stories that impacted me most are A Room in My House, But it’s not Mine, Porcelain, and Keeping Jerry. 

 In A Room in My House, But it’s not Mine, the reader deduces rape or sexual abuse has occurred by way of the stream of consciousness from the protagonist. The reader is privy to the protagonist’s often disjointed thoughts, fears and feelings. 

 My favorite is Porcelain because of the symbolism and allegory used. In this story that was done beautifully. The reader learns the thoughts of a young woman as she faces—what I think is—an unexpected pregnancy. In spite of the dark subject hope for a new day and chapter in life is presented. That shows growth for the young woman protagonist. 

  Keeping Jerry impacted me most of all, it exasperated me. The story is about a loving couple where the woman experiences excruciatingly painful intercourse. Her doctor cannot remedy her situation. The lovers presented have a woefully unequal, unbalanced relationship because the female chooses to submit to torturous sadomasochistic sex as a duty to endure (and her way of Keeping Jerry) rather than communicating truthfully with Jerry about what she’s feeling. Most men will physically lose the ability to make love if they think they’re hurting their partner. No opportunity is presented by either partner to have an open, honest conversation about what to do and possible alternatives. Jerry, who presumably loves her is presented as an insensitive, even abusive man, focused primarily on his own need for satisfaction without any regard for his lover.

I could imagine these stories being used to spark discussion in women’s groups or even as ice-breaker tool for therapy. Or, read by a loving friend or family member who is concerned about their young daughter, sister, friend or partner. 

I look forward to seeing this author mature by detailing the stories, adding explanatory depth to the characters and plugging plot-holes where the ideas introduced transition gracefully. 

Criticisms aside, the stories will cause the attentive reader to think. I’d be curious to know; do others agree or disagree with my assessment of Keeping Jerry? You will have an emotional response. After reading, set it aside for a bit and allow your own responses to mature. Your reflections may surprise you. As a debut, it’s a good start. There are some brilliant, poetic aspects to the author’s writing that leaves the reader wishing for more. Some of the allegories are beautifully constructed. I thank the author for allowing me an ARC in exchange for my honest review.